I don't believe in love.
I'm not sure exactly when I realized this. It was in the middle of the night, in the dark when I could not sleep, and the watery moonlight was reflected on my ceiling and I was running through the songs in my head. I don't know exactly why I realized it, or why I do not believe. But it seems to me that love - that thing everybody obsesses over while pretending not to - ought to be something unbreakable, unstoppable, unconditional, unchangeable. And I have never seen anything that could embody any of these characteristics.
It's true there are things that are like love. There's attachment. Affection. Companionship. Attraction. Etc. But not love. And I also realized that I really don't care. Because I don't want to love. People do stupid things in the name of love.
Maybe there is a such a thing as love, but I cannot see it, or I cannot feel it, or I cannot understand it, or it's just not what I think it should be. Maybe I have another name for it. Whatever.
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