Boys Next Door

I just read the most INTENSE manga.

Have you ever read, or seen, something that was horrifying, depressing, shocking, beautiful, inspiring, all at once, but was still good? I just did. And by "good", I definitely don't mean that it left me with inspiring, happy feelings. I mean that it blew my mind. I can't decide if it's a horror story, or a love story, or a psychological teaser, or... what.

It's a manga titled "Boys Next Door." It's one volume, only three chapters, but the story is so well told I feel I've just lived an entire lifetime. It follows the love affair of two men; Adrian is living a double life: he's a kind-hearted teacher helping abandoned children during the day, and during the night he's a serial killer. Lawrence is a male prostitute.

It opens at the climax, and then quickly rewinds to show the steps that led to the critical point. There are a lot of flashbacks because the past is a crucial part of the present. The plot is as full of twists and turns as a labyrinth, moving forward quickly. The characters are twisted and complex. The art! It's gorgeous, dark and grotesque, lush and haunting. The layout is perfect. A starved sort of beauty.

If you don't want to read something unsettling, don't read this. If you're homophobic or have a problem with yaoi, don't read this. If you don't like bloody stories, don't read this. But if you want something intense, something that'll play with your mind, something that'll take you on an emotional and mental rollercoaster, something that'll make you think and question, then read it. Devour it. Sit down some afternoon with a cup of coffee and a teddy bear and chug it in one feel swoop. And when you're done with it, don't do anything. Just sit there. Sit there and let it simmer in your mind so you can get the full flavor of it.

"Cook me for a day and night... make me into stew. Afterwards, suck my bones clean. When my entire body has been eaten by you, I can finally become your flesh and blood. Then... I'll belong entirely to you..."

Read Boys Next Door

Meet the World

One night I had a conversation with myself. I was lying there in the dark in my room, thinking about the future (as I usually am), and I thought, "I think I'm afraid of the world."

So I asked myself, "What are you going to do about it?"

I am going out to meet the world head on. No more flinching or hesitating or avoiding. I am going to (as Nike says) just do it. I am going to be unflinchingly honest and stop caring what people/colleges/employers think of me as a person. If they don't like my views, too bad for them.

I think perfectionism (and procrastination as well) is a shield. You go around pretending that you're not getting anything done because "it isn't ready yet" or "it's not perfect yet". I say, no cigar. Sugar. Bueno. Whatever. No whatever.

There's no right way to get through life, so does it really matter which way you go about it?  So what if you fail? You have to fail a lot before you ever succeed, and since you learn from failures, the more you fail, the smarter you get.

This all sounds great, but the truth is it's hard to remember when I'm actually out there.