Sometimes, late at night, I like to visit here and read my old posts. Some of the things I wrote about myself have changed, and I smile at the things I used to like. Other posts make me remember pieces of myself that I had forgotten. I have wise moments, sometimes, and some of them are recorded here.
Some important ones I wish I could remember:
-I need to worry less, decensor myself more, and live more freely
-I don't have a "soul"
-I don't believe in love, and I don't mind not believing in love
-All thing deteriorate over time.
-Destruction is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it means the start of something new.
I should remember these, but I'm caught in a spiral. It's a spiral of traps. See, I had hopes of living more freely once I moved away from my parents, but now I'm going to college 15 minutes away from my grandparents. Everyday I don't have school I spend at my grandparents. They're even worse than my parents. My grandmother is more conservative, more opinionated, more anti-gay, and just MORE. I'm regressing and I don't know how I ended up like this. Or how I get out.
I'm thinking of transferring to another college, either where Leanne goes or Hayley. My friends. My wonderful, liberal, open-minded, and ACCEPTING friends. I miss their wisdom and their humor.
