Crazy Things

My, my. The things I write at 2:30 in the morning. I churned out this after reading the first few chapters of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance saturday night.

"So. Say I'm crazy. Say we're all difference kinds of crazy, and "normal" is merely the reigning madness. What does that mean for us?
"What kind of person am I? What's my crazy?
"I'm always going to be questioning, looking at the world through an unusual ontological lens. I will always be searching for myself, and my curse is that I will never find myself. And in the spirit of searching, I will always be challenging other people, poking holes in the way they see things, in who they are.
"How do other people see their own existences? Do you think they recognize the crazy, or do they catalogue everything into a mental system to keep themselves comfortable? They've got so much one-size-fits-all slang so they don't have to look too closely at anything; they can just slap a label on it and laugh. And they blink, like Nietzsche's last men. They have no focus.
"What is meaning to them? What is life or identity, or even intelligence? They think with cheap copies of ideas, mistaking them for reality. Nobody questions.
"What place does "crazy" have in this madness?"

Tarot Reading 22 January 2012

The Tower: a sudden realization, a rude awakening, sudden and uncomfortable disclosure of truth
Five of Swords: a conflict, possibly spiritual
The Stars: an aquarian card that looks to the future; hope and healing, the reassurance that there are resources to help you

Otaku Wench?

I've always been a fantasy/sci-fi fan; anime was just too weird, and I never looked too far in to it. But one night while my sister was cruising the netflix instant plays, Howl's Moving Castle appeared. I don't know why she picked it. She thinks anime is even weirder than I do. When I told her she had to try watching Avatar: The Last Airbender, she was suspicious of it because it was an animated tv show, and she thought it would be anime. Why would she willingly choose to watch a movie that I told her was anime? I don't know.

But she did. And I watched it with her, and I loved it.

My god. What is this black sorcery?! Why is this so addictive?! I've now watched Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, and My Neighbor Totoro. I loved all of them, except the first one, which I merely liked. Next I'm thinking of watching Princess Mononoke.

Oh my gawd. Have I secretly been a closet anime fan my whole life and never known about it? Has this urge to watch anime continuously been lurking in the dungeons of my heart all this time? What's going on with me?! I'm not supposed to like this stuff! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....

It's always weird when you discover that you like something that you've never tried before, and it changes your perception of yourself. I mean, I'd just gotten used to being an Avatar fan. I feel like my tough girl persona is slipping away from me. No, don't go, tough girl! I need you! Without you, I'll start feeling those goddamn emotions. :/